Random Bits of Weirdness In Which Michelle Trips Balls

I’ve been pretty ill for the last couple of weeks, and when I have a really high temperature, my mind tends to go to some strange places. The following are just a few of those places:

* A spider crawling on my wall became an assassin hired by my daughter to kill me for my life insurance policy. When I smushed it, she enlisted Sam & Dean Winchester and tried to convince them that I was a demon that had to be eradicated.

* I discovered that dogs gossip via doggy farts, and that’s where the term “poop scoop” originated.

* As long as I stay perfectly still inside my cocoon of bed linens, I will not have to pee.

* The thermometer was the End All and Be All, the One who had the Power to decide if I was well or not.

* At one point, when my son asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me, I asked him to hit me in the head and put me out of my misery. Now, I don’t remember this one, but DS swears it happened.

My conclusion? I am a whole bag of crazy when I’m sick. 😀

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